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Hello! My name is Jess (she/her), and I am a Registered Social Worker and a Registered Clinical Counsellor in British Columbia. I took the VBIP training with Heather in April 2024, and I started using it right away. At the time I am writing this, I have started the Process with ~30 clients (~15 of whom have completed at least the first half of the Process). Most of my clients are Autistic/ADHD, some of whom also come from a high-control religious environment, and my practice focuses on grief and loss as well.

I believe that every step of the Values Based Integration Process has value! I tell my clients, before they start the Process, that it’s all about their agency, their autonomy, and their active participation — which we all appreciate. The Process is trauma-informed and draws from several theories/therapies: somatic, narrative, attachment, and IFS.

Let me break down my thoughts a little more, using the parts of the Process to do so: 

Parts 1-3

I call Parts 1-3 the “fun part” because, through it, we uncover their values. However, I recognize that Part 1 in particular is not “fun” for everyone I work with. It involves unpacking at least five stories of when they felt “fully alive”, or integrated, and this can be difficult for my clients for a few reasons: when they struggle with remembering their past, when they are alexithymic, and/or when they come to realize that these “fully alive” moments are more in the past than in the present which can bring up grief. Sometimes, it can take months to work through Part 1, but every client of mine who is ready for the VBI Process is able to work through Part 1 with me and find those stories, and that leads us to Part 2 and Part 3.

Part 2, I’ve found, is straight-forward for most, with Part 3 taking more time. Part 3, to me, is extra special though. Every client of mine so far has come up with a visual representation of their values, each one resonating with who they are and how they think of their values. Parts 1-3 have helped my clients learn to validate themselves, through embodiment, and it has been wonderful to see this growth in them.

Parts 4-7: 

I appreciate Heather’s definition of dysregulation so much that I wish I thought of it: when the rules in our minds don’t align with the values in our hearts. Part 4 is about identifying a moment of dysregulation so that values can eventually be applied, in Parts 5 and 6. Finding the message can be challenging for my clients, and sometimes it takes a while to figure out what it is, but again, their body knows it. This part allows them to listen to their body; I make sure to reassure my clients, throughout the entire VBI Process, that I cannot tell them what is true or accurate for them — only they can. Through this part, it’s also clear that we cannot make the changes we want to see in our lives if we make the message about other people. Although we live within systems, the messages we live by are about ourselves. This, for my clients, is empowering! It means they have the power to create changes within their systems.

Part 5 seems to be easier for those who are more aware of how the rule or message that they have internalized, usually from a very young age, does not work for them anymore. Part 6 seems to be easier for those who know how things can be different and better for themselves. So far, I have found that individuals typically find Part 5 more challenging because they want to reconstruct the message before sitting in the pain that the message has caused for them. If Part 6 is more of a challenge, it’s usually because doing things differently, according to their values, is new — and new is hard sometimes! It’s a learning curve but a meaningful one.

Part 7, finally, is about restating the new message. It can be hard to summarize all of the work in reconstruction, but of course, without a new message that is aligned with our values, the world will offer alternative ones in place of the old one. With a new, values-based message, my clients are able to respond differently to their circumstances and feel more themselves, ultimately.

I love being able to offer the Values Based Integration Process as a tool for my neurodivergent clients. One of my clients described it as a “bottom-up” way of discovering values and applying them to their life, and I believe that describes it well. It’s been truly life-changing for my practice because of how amazing it is for my clients who are ready for it. I have so much confidence in the Process, especially having gone through it myself in the training, and I plan to continue using it with all of my clients who are interested in unmasking and learning to be themselves in this world!

Jess Holtslander (she/her) 

BSc, MSW, RSW, RCC

Sun & Clouds Counselling

w: sunandcloudscounselling.com

e: sunandcloudscounselling@gmail.com

a: 206-347 Leon Ave., Kelowna, BC, V1Y 8C7

*NOTE: I can only provide services to B.C. residents