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Unmasking with the Values Based Integration Process


Remember … Being Small Matters

Photo by Dominik Scythe on Unsplash

I am a small person – stature wise. I’m a little more than a hundred pounds soaking wet; when I can stand I can claim 4′ 10″ if I’m wearing my shoes but in a wheelchair I’m nowhere near that height.

I spend most days in a small space – my living room – working with a very small group of folks who come to me to talk about big problems but also lots of small problems.

I’m not famous.

I haven’t ever been paid for something I’ve written.

The most ‘views’ I’ve had for a post was 160 back in October.

Some days I can do things like make dinner for my family. Some days I struggle with basic tasks like swallowing without choking (it’s more complicated than you might think!) And in our world of superstars and trending posts and multi-million dollar book deals it can be easy to start to feel unimportant or unnecessary or unappreciated.

But the truth of the matter is that every single one of us can think of everyday, ordinary folks who have done ‘little’ things for us in ways that were too incredible for us to ever express our thanks adequately.

The couple who came and reorganized my kitchen when I got out of the hospital so that I could reach my dishes without getting out of my wheelchair? Priceless.

The lady who took my vision for my front yard and turned it into an incredible garden of beauty and delight without me being able to lift a finger to help? Incredible.

The gentle smile and kind assistance I get from random strangers every time a building’s accessibility isn’t up to standard? Couldn’t do life without them.

The way my kids sometimes insist that I go and take a rest and then bring me a cup of tea to make it better? Fantastic.

Life is full of lots of fabulous, incredible, smart, capable folks. The world also has a few folks who have become famous or rich or trendy or popular or cool. I’m pretty sure we could survive without some of these ‘big names’, but I know that I for one wouldn’t get very far without the ‘small’ and ‘little’ people in my life.

Just like nature requires all sorts of plants, animals and little creatures to be able to allow ecosystems to blossom and flourish, our lives also benefit – more than we usually recognize – from the everyday actions of the little people around us, being committed to being their best authentic selves.

And when I remember that, it helps me to remember that maybe my ‘small’ and ‘little’ contributions (including this far-shorter-than-usual post) is worth something too!



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About the program

In 2017 I was newly self-diagnosed with atypical autism, struggling with burnout, and striking out when it came to therapists who could address the issues I was facing. At the same time, I was building skills around life coaching, shame reduction, and trauma-informed therapy for work. Gradually I realized that what I needed – an embodied, autonomous, agency-driven coaching approach to unmasking – was not something I was going to find “out there”, but something I was going to need to create if I wanted to recover my life. This was the moment the Values Based Integration Process was born.

Having developed the program for myself – and having seen the incredible results it brought in my own life – I began to use it with coaching clients. The results were out of this world!

After conversations with Dr. Devon Price, the technique was featured in his book Unmasking Autism. With it, came interest in the technique and the decision was made to begin training coaches and therapists to help make this toolkit more readily available.

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