Coaching

Grief, Not Guilt

And the prevailing responses in all of these cases is either to become defensive or to grovel in guilt or wallow in shame. The problem with all three of these responses, is that all of them create big emotions that we then use to distance ourselves from the pain of the one we've hurt. If our emotions are big enough to take up the whole room, we don't have to see the emotions of the person who is suffering. They are actually just different forms of self-protection.