Coaching

‘Love Tanks’

Yesterday we talked about the importance for us as humans to feel ‘safe, known and precious’.

I want you to imagine that each of us has a ‘love tank’ inside of us.

This love tank is like a gas tank – you can only get out fuel (in this case love) if you’ve got some in the tank to give.

Each of us have things that fill up our love tanks – author Gary Chapman suggests they include physical touch, acts of service, words of encouragement, physical touch and gifts.

But each of us also have things that drain the fuel right out of us – things like silence, criticism, judgment, arguing, defiance, guilt, over-thinking, too many responsibilities, unclear expectations, change, risk, and failure, just to name a few.

And the reality is that for many of us, the things that drain the fuel out of us come at us far faster than we’re offered the things that might fill us back up – which leave us running about as well as an old car on fumes.

For us to offer ‘safe, known and precious’ to our kids, we have to first have something in our love tanks, so that we have something to give.

Which means finding ways to fill up our own love tanks so that we have something to offer those around us.

Some of us have partners or good friends who we can lean on a bit for this.

Some of us are going to have to get a bit more creative.

But this week I want you to think about your daily schedule. I want you to think about what times in the day your kiddos need the most emotional filling. Then I want you to think about what you could do just before you care for them to make sure your own love tanks are full.

The answers will depend on what your love languages are – so they’ll be different for each of us.

And for those who feel like they’ve got this part down pat, you can take the next step: see if you can figure out what your partner and kids love languages are so that you can start to offer them some safe, known and precious, too. 🙂

Photo Credit: Igor Ovsyannykov

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