In Trouble

We’ve been looking at used accessible vans this weekend. So far, not good. We don’t have a lot for this purchase, because the #accessiblehouse is taking all of our pennies and then some this year.

Now don’t get me wrong. The vans look pretty on the top and seem to run like a champ, but you get under the bottom and the rust has had a field day!

The problem with an underbody is that you can’t see it easily – especially from a wheelchair. And life is busy and there’s so much else on the list to do, and it’s so easy to just. not. look. But if you get to the point where the steel on the gas tank has almost rusted through on the corners, you know you’re in trouble.

For years, I lived life like this van. I pushed and pushed and pushed myself for so much of my life. I had places to go and things to do and I “didn’t have time” to sit with a therapist or go to yoga or take a rest day or sort out my trauma. I just kept trying harder.

Until one day my gas tank started leaking so fast I couldn’t pump quickly enough to keep up with it. The trauma sorting and the yoga and the rest days and the therapy became my only option. Trying harder was no longer a choice I could make if I wanted to survive and, indeed, thrive.

So here’s where I’m going with my Monday Morning Meander:

  1. If you haven’t got there already, don’t wait until your emotional (or actual!!!) gas tank is laking down the highway, putting you and everyone else around you at risk before you start to make some changes. Send me – or someone else you trust – a message. Get the conversation started. Life doesn’t have to stay this way.
  2. If you’re already at this point emotionally, it doesn’t have to be the end of your story. Change is possible when it’s #poweredbylove. I am not the person I was five years ago, and neither are my clients. So reach out – make some time – let’s see what can be done together.


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