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Unmasking with the Values Based Integration Process


I don’t talk a lot about the pain part of my life. I somehow got the idea at a very young age that people don’t like to hear about pain – that it upsets them – and that as a result you shouldn’t ever talk about it. I also – in general – think that it’s important to focus on the positives in life.

But here’s the thing. When we close off parts of our life – when we’re not honest about things like pain – then we miss out on the opportunity to form deep, meaningful, healing points of connection.

So today I thought I would take a risk, and share the poem I wrote about pain this morning …

Pain – A Poetic Observation

Puts the edges
On the outlines
Of my shape.

Highlighting my body
In throbbing aches;
Intensifying tightness;
A dramatic,
Monotonous, cacophony of

Wakes me,
Sapping strength before each
Day begins

Turns my
Limbs to lead
Before I even get
Out of bed, it
Holds me –
Inexorably –

Disturbs my sleep,
Interrupts my thoughts,
Confuses my words.

Rips holes
In the fabric of my
Emotional well-being,
Draining my capacity
Rendering me less, it
Slowly steals my

But pain:
Is not the end –
It is simply my
Every day beginning.

2 responses to “Pain”

  1. ‘…is not the end-‘
    It is important to have spaces where we can tell others of our pain. Thank you for taking a chance. It could open the door for someone else to share.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So much this. TY for taking risk and share.


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About the program

In 2017 I was newly self-diagnosed with atypical autism, struggling with burnout, and striking out when it came to therapists who could address the issues I was facing. At the same time, I was building skills around life coaching, shame reduction, and trauma-informed therapy for work. Gradually I realized that what I needed – an embodied, autonomous, agency-driven coaching approach to unmasking – was not something I was going to find “out there”, but something I was going to need to create if I wanted to recover my life. This was the moment the Values Based Integration Process was born.

Having developed the program for myself – and having seen the incredible results it brought in my own life – I began to use it with coaching clients. The results were out of this world!

After conversations with Dr. Devon Price, the technique was featured in his book Unmasking Autism. With it, came interest in the technique and the decision was made to begin training coaches and therapists to help make this toolkit more readily available.


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