My new chair has given me a new perspective on the world. It’s incredible to me to be able to sit taller than I could ever stand, and it makes me realise the power of different perspectives or lenses on how we see and understand the world – our perspecticals.
The lens we use to view the world around us is critical to the way in which we experience life. If we think that everyone is out to get us, we will experience people’s actions as intentionally, maliciously hurtful. If we think that we have control and agency in our world, we are much more likely to take action and make choices that positively impact us in our day to day life.
Our perspecticals affect how we deal with emotions, pain, change, family dynamics, work issues and everything in between. And they are encouraged and developed by the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and others.
Unfortunately, most of these stories were created/written first when we were children. Some we came up with ourselves, with our young, inexperienced brains to try to explain the things that were happening around us, and some were given to us by the adults and other children around us.
Either way, most of us never take the time as adults to consider which of these stories we actually agree with – which ones we’re interested in giving power to. Which means we often find ourselves wearing perspecticals that make our lives more complicated, cut us off from healthy relationships and leave us beating up on ourselves for decades.
The solution to all of this isn’t to try harder or to screw up our eyes and try to squint our way to a new perspective.
The solution is found in gently integrating our stories with our values – getting honest, one story at a time, about the people we want to be, the ways we want to see the world and the perspective we choose as adults to hold.
This is my Values Based Integration Process.
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