In an ideal world, we would be leaning into our values, with so much love and compassion and excitement and joy that our children would gladly follow us forward into these places and spaces.
It was years ago now when a friend who had adopted two little girls with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) told me about the 10:1 ratio. The idea was that for every one word of correction that we receive we need another ten words of praise and affirmation. That's because our brains are really good at filtering out and dismissing the good things we hear - and we're even better at remember the negative.
So last week, I asked the moms in my parenting class to bring all of their clean spoons when they came. I didn't tell them why, but I specifically said, "don't clean any spoons specially - just bring what you have".