National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out day. This is a picture of my husband and I at our local Pride Parade this summer wearing t-shirts that said “Free Mom Hugs” and “Free Dad Hugs”. But we are more than allies. We are a straight-passing, mixed orientation marriage. That means that, in my case, I am attractedContinue reading “National Coming Out Day”

To A New Special Needs Parent As My Eldest Leaves For University

Welcome to a fantastic journey – one you never asked for, signed up for or (probably) trained for. As much as it feels that your world has come crashing down around you, or that you can’t possibly handle this, the truth is more complicated than that. The truth is that there will be high’s and lo’s to this journey that you may only be able to appreciate down the road. The truth is also that you already have the one key ingredient for success: you love your child.

“What Exactly Is a Life Coach?”

I was sitting with a friend the other day and she asked me, “Heather, what exactly is a life coach? What do you do?” And I figured maybe she wasn’t the only one who was uncertain…

Raising An Adult By 18 – Attachment At Every Stage: Celebration

Affirmation, support, responding to bids, giving words and celebration – those are our five keys to attachment from 0 – 18 and beyond. When we put these together with the other ideas we’ve explored this month, we find we can be increasingly successful at raising adults by the age of 18!

Raising An Adult By 18 – Flexibility Is Key

While I have seen charts saying children should reach this skill by such-and-such an age, or showing what chores kids should do in what grades, I think it’s incredibly important to realize that each of our children are unique, and each will develop in slightly different ways and slightly different speeds. This is particularly true for children who have neurodevelopmental issues such as autism, physical disabilities such as club foot or those who were born prematurely.

Because of this, my recommendation is to create a list of skills that you want your child to develop along each of these axes – heart, soul, mind and body – and for each of the values that you want your child to learn.

Raising An Adult By 18 – Creating a Plan

Last week we talked about how our values should be used as the basis for our parenting plan. How we need to figure out where we’re trying to get to before we can create a plan for how to get there, just like we need a destination before we can plot a course of travel on a map.

But once we have the destination how do we create the plan?