It's not until we know where we want our story to take us, that we can begin to find the narrative to get us there. Not until we determine what type of image we want to capture that we can choose which lens to use. Not until we discover what program we want to write that we can start to lay down a code base that will deal with both the primary functionality and all of the interesting edge cases that life will throw at us.
None of us can possibly be completely honest about our stories. We will always have gaps in our understanding and information that is missing or incomplete because of our perspective. I am not suggesting here that we have to get every single fact correct and tell every single detail of our stories. I don't think that's necessary. But for many of us - myself especially - shame and guilt and a fear of judgment kept me from telling much of my story for a very long time - to either myself or to those around me.
I want to spent this week talking a little bit about our autism journey. It wasn't until the spring of 2013 that we my youngest was flagged for autism. It really should have happened years earlier - by that point she was nine, her older sibling was 12 and her dad was 36. Why does it matter what ages the other two were? Because within two years, we had come to realize that both of them were also on the spectrum.
The idea of forgiveness can be very difficult for many people. It had always been drilled into me that it was important to forgive, and I would screw up my eyes and try hard to forgive those who had hurt me, but it rarely seemed to make much of a difference. Then a couple of years ago I ran across a book by the Rev. Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu, called, The Book of Forgiving: The Four-Fold Path For Healing Ourselves and Our World. And I figured that since Desmond Tutu had grown up under the horrors of apartheid as a black South African, and overseen the Truth and Reconciliation commission there, he might have something of value to say on the subject of forgiveness.
One of the most powerful tools in the journey towards wholeness is compassionate curiosity. That's because many of us go about our days doing things and reacting and interacting with other people without ever stopping and thinking about why we do what we do. But what if there was always a reason for the things that we did?… Continue reading Tools in your Toolbox – Compassionate Curiosity