My Story, Parenting

Out from the Clutches of Worry, Fear and Control

Over on @parentingforward, @cindybrandt was talking about the way we worry as parents. She said, "Every parent worries. To love is to worry. What if that doesn't have to be true? What if we can learn better coping mechanisms for our anxieties so that we don't exchange them with our children? What if we don't… Continue reading Out from the Clutches of Worry, Fear and Control

Coaching, Parenting

Honesty – Part 1

I've been thinking recently about the idea of honesty. Most often when we think about teaching our kids to be honest, or being honest with our spouse we think about not saying things that aren't true. So if you ask me if I ate the last cookie and I tell you that I did indeed eat the last cookie, then I have told the truth. The second thing we think about in terms of being honest is not failing to tell the truth. So if you never ask me if I ate the last cookie but I know you'd want to know where it had gone, then I should probably mention that I finished off the cookies. This is a deeper truth.

Coaching

Responding To Self-Harm and Suicide

Because of the role that worthlessness and disconnection play in self-harm and suicidality, if someone is courageous enough to tell me about what's going on, I do my best to respond immediately with deeper connection. I might take them out for coffee, for a walk in the woods or by the water; I might invite them back to my place for dinner and some chill hang out time, or even invite them to spend a night or two with us. I know that this response is not going to fix all of the underlying reasons for where this person is where they are. That's not my goal. My goal is to create an immediate, felt sensation of increased connection for the person - like first-aid for the soul.