Fear and Love
There is a concept in psychology called ‘primary emotions’. These are seen as the emotions out of which all other emotions flow. Theorists, however, disagree wildly on what these different primary emotions might be. The following chart summarizes a wide range of these theories: Theorist Basic Emotions Plutchik Acceptance, anger, anticipation, disgust, joy, fear, sadness,… Continue reading
Out from the Clutches of Worry, Fear and Control
Over on @parentingforward, @cindybrandt was talking about the way we worry as parents. She said, “Every parent worries. To love is to worry. What if that doesn’t have to be true? What if we can learn better coping mechanisms for our anxieties so that we don’t exchange them with our children? What if we don’t… Continue reading
The Fifth Fear Response
I realized this week that there might be a fifth fear response: force. Continue reading
When You Feel More Dead Then Alive
I recently republished a post I wrote last year on what makes us come alive. Knowing what makes us come alive is important to helping us come to understand our core values – which in turn helps us to sift and sort through the competing messages we have in our heads. But then someone messaged… Continue reading
Love Powered Politics
I’m okay with political disagreement. But what concerns me is the move towards a politics of fear from both sides of the political perspective. As you may have guessed, I think we can choose to vote out of fear or vote out of love. Continue reading
Certainty, Community, and the Undiagnosable Chronic Illness
As humans of the 21st century we have got it into our heads that we can know all the things. That we can predict all the weather.That we can heal all the diseases. That we can guarantee that we will not only have food to eat, but that we can have exactly the right food to eat at this moment… Continue reading
Honesty – Part 1
I’ve been thinking recently about the idea of honesty. Most often when we think about teaching our kids to be honest, or being honest with our spouse we think about not saying things that aren’t true. So if you ask me if I ate the last cookie and I tell you that I did indeed eat the… Continue reading
Responding To Self-Harm and Suicide
Because of the role that worthlessness and disconnection play in self-harm and suicidality, if someone is courageous enough to tell me about what’s going on, I do my best to respond immediately with deeper connection. I might take them out for coffee, for a walk in the woods or by the water; I might invite… Continue reading
About the program
In 2017 I was newly self-diagnosed with atypical autism, struggling with burnout, and striking out when it came to therapists who could address the issues I was facing. At the same time, I was building skills around life coaching, shame reduction, and trauma-informed therapy for work. Gradually I realized that what I needed – an embodied, autonomous, agency-driven coaching approach to unmasking – was not something I was going to find “out there”, but something I was going to need to create if I wanted to recover my life. This was the moment the Values Based Integration Process was born.
Having developed the program for myself – and having seen the incredible results it brought in my own life – I began to use it with coaching clients. The results were out of this world!
After conversations with Dr. Devon Price, the technique was featured in his book Unmasking Autism. With it, came interest in the technique and the decision was made to begin training coaches and therapists to help make this toolkit more readily available.