Coaching
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Living a Yin Life in a Yang World
There is this concept in eastern religions of yin and yang. It’s this idea of finding balance between two opposites: things like dark/light; work/rest; tense/release; hard/easy; do/be. And just like we understand that we need muscle pairs to, for example, lift our arm up and then bring our arm back down, these eastern knowledge traditions… Continue reading
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Raising An Adult By 18 – Attachment At Every Stage: Celebration
Affirmation, support, responding to bids, giving words and celebration – those are our five keys to attachment from 0 – 18 and beyond. When we put these together with the other ideas we’ve explored this month, we find we can be increasingly successful at raising adults by the age of 18! Continue reading
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Raising An Adult By 18 – Attachment At Every Stage: Giving Words
We’ve already talked about affirmation, support and bids. Today we want to look at the power of giving words as another step in helping our child feel known. Our kids are busy learning on every axes of life – social, emotional, physical and mental – and that means that often things are going to happen that they simply… Continue reading
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Raising An Adult By 18 – Attachment At Every Stage: “Bids”
Today we look at “bids” – the way that we as humans make it known that we need a little more support, engagement or attachment. Continue reading
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Raising An Adult By 18 – Attachment At Every Stage: Support
This week we are looking at five ways of helping to give our kids the attachment – the sense of safety and connectedness that comes from feeling seen, known and precious – that allows them to learn and develop to reach their full potential. Today, we are looking at the idea of support. Continue reading
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Raising An Adult By 18 – Attachment At Every Stage: Affirmation
Attachment parenting has been a phrase in parenting circles for quite a while now – you see it talked about a fair amount in books on parenting infants, babies and toddlers, and it even seems to sneak into a few of the books on preschoolers, but then it’s as if it simply disappears. As if,… Continue reading
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When Disintegration Is A Good Thing
I grew up in a world that liked it’s boxes. It liked being able to slot people and activities and music and styles of dress and relationships and beliefs neatly into categories that they then used to judge those very beliefs and relationships and styles of dress and music and activities and people. The world I… Continue reading
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Be Careful Where You Park
I was sixteen when I first got my driver’s license, and as a driver, one of the earliest things I learned how to do is to park. That’s because knowing where and how to park your car is essential to coming back to your car where you left it, in one piece, and in a… Continue reading
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When Life Cracks and Breaks
I was thinking about how hard it is to notice these losses and grieve them as we go. We often seem to jump to dismissing our grief in the hopes that by dismissing it the pain won’t be as bad. We decide that they’re ‘silly’ or they ‘don’t count’ and sometimes actively minimize them to try… Continue reading
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Emotional Workflow
One of the things I didn’t learn well growing up – maybe because of my autism, or maybe because of my experiences of gaslighting – was which things were emotionally my responsibility, and which things were not my responsibility. Continue reading
About the program
In 2017 I was newly self-diagnosed with atypical autism, struggling with burnout, and striking out when it came to therapists who could address the issues I was facing. At the same time, I was building skills around life coaching, shame reduction, and trauma-informed therapy for work. Gradually I realized that what I needed – an embodied, autonomous, agency-driven coaching approach to unmasking – was not something I was going to find “out there”, but something I was going to need to create if I wanted to recover my life. This was the moment the Values Based Integration Process was born.
Having developed the program for myself – and having seen the incredible results it brought in my own life – I began to use it with coaching clients. The results were out of this world!
After conversations with Dr. Devon Price, the technique was featured in his book Unmasking Autism. With it, came interest in the technique and the decision was made to begin training coaches and therapists to help make this toolkit more readily available.
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